Back after some time.
Yo wassup yall Updates people, updates! (Reference) I know I promised to let go a bit off venting and complaining in these blogs to make it more bearable to read But still I have some shit I gotta let off from my mind Truth be told. I am struggling now more than ever. I am more lonely than I was before. My suicidal thoughts are back. And I am so done with life and I can barely handle this shit. However, I dont wanna have another near death experience. It was incredibly terrifying. Its just. I am lost. I have no goals in life. I have nothing and I feel like I am a really boring person thats just not enjoyable to be around I am trying my best tho... Changing the topics. Physically I feel waaayyyy better than before. I probably hade some syndrome after I stopped taking my anti depressants. This does not change the fact that Im so done with my life And I wish to give up daily My parents make it way worse to handle too As they first keep complaining I dont talk with them And when I do They ignore me and dont give a fuck or just say they dont got time
No matter how many times I bring this up - I dont have any dreams in my life anymore and I feel like I have lived enough - someone always mentions that I do have dreams What? That Subaru? Whoaw A car. Nice. What after that? I dont care I only have that dream so I keep going But with every day I am more and more done with this fucking work, this place, my life
So yeah I exist Goblin exists Goblin has a dreading existential crisis And the goblin has no way to solve it as I am just fucking done and I want this to be over with
I cry everyday I am so fucking done everyday I have suicidal thoughts daily Thats it reslly Now positive notes I met a new person lately and we have a great vibe together and we went to a National park for a hike And that would be all I guess... I am sober still But it just does not fucking matter at this point Goblin out. I dont care
No one checks this anymore
Goblin, reporting. Ehh....over.