Yo wassup yall. I gotta spill some shit about my parents
So what do I have to say? Well there were ups and downs with my parents. But lately since I got back from Poznań? And then my moving out with my ex failed? Well theyve been treating me like a subhuman piece of shit that always comes back when I have nowhere else to go. Well shit you are my parents??? They have always treated transgender people as taboo and never really wanted to fully understand it. They always pretended. What pisses me off the most? They are afraid to even mention the word "trans" like it's some bad omen if you say it. I have good passing and a mediocre decent voice. And I dont out myself to people. And my parents are always like. "They treat you like a woman?" "They didnt notice?" "Oh they probably know already" "You didnt tell them? Well they probably figured it out"
It's like passive aggressive in some way? Like their baseline is "she is clockable and its weird anyone treats her as a woman". Thank you. Really. ughhhhh.... And they dont even try to be nice to me. It just hurts. And they keep on saying I gained weight and Im fat, because "oh were fat too, so we can call you that" WTF???? Nice fucking parents.
And you might be wondering what made me snap today? Well once again. After many many other times. I always scolded my mum for this. She keeps on searching trough my room for no fucking reason. What did she find today?? Sex toys. Nice move mum. Really fucking proud of your search. And if she just admitted to it, it would have been chiller. BUT NO. She always pretends she was just cleaning my room and arranged my "mess" (theres no mess) for me. Bullshit. And when I say I can see she went trough my stuff. She always starts defending herself. But she is so bad at it. She always admits to it in the first sentence.
Well those are some of the things they do. Other? Well every time I cry, they just straight up ignore it. Or scold me to stop crying cuz they got it worse. That day I had an attempt and went to hospital? When talking with EMTs and psychiatrists, they insisted I was doing fine and its weird I attempted it. That same day, my father found me laying down on the bathroom floor crying my eyes out. What did he do? "Come out, I need to take a piss" Thank you. Yeah and then they go on complaining I dont talk with them. FFS yeah.
They were never supportive and never will. They only exploit me and bring me down in any way possible. I dont like them. They always forcefully try to hug me and force me into saying "I love you" to them. It fucking hurts. All of it. I have never ever felt safe here. They never allowed me to install a key lock in my doors. They were furious when I covered up the windows on my door. Like wtf is wrong with you.
And its just the tip of the iceberg. There is waaaaaaaaay more shit they did that traumatised me as a kid and made me the way I am now.
Goblin, reporting. It's hell on earth. But I gotta go on