Alright yall listen. I gotta stay sober now
Okay so what happened you might think? You probably saw some worrying shit that I posted on IG not long ago. It was incredibly cringe and attention seeking, it was like 20 stories posted full of venting. Later on I realised just how cringe that shit was. I went on and deleted it so I dont make a joke of myself. I wanted to make a new blog entry yesterday but I fell asleep really early. Cuz Ha!!! You wont believe, I stopped taking drugs yesterday and holy shit did I feel sleepy. And you might think what was the thing that made me snap out of it? Well first off. I realised I was a fucking cunt towards other people. Like a mean bitch. And also my brain was SOOO fried from drugs that the sewing project I had? I had to postpone it everyday cuz I didnt know what I was looking at even. Yesterday was peak when I met up with my friend and yeah the chatting was cool. But I felt like being flushed down a really hot toilet full of black sludge. I was sitting on the ground and I was not able to understand what I was doing and what we were talking about. And today is actually kind of a second day of that sobriety. Yesterday was a check for me I guess. And today I finally was able to somewhat gather my thoughts together and finish that project. I advertised my tailoring services cuz I think Im doing well. And also sewing helps you think real hard what youre doing so it helps get out of the usual negative routine of just playing games high. I also stopped drinking energy drinks but thats a different story - I had like a really weird aftertaste after drinking it that lasted for hours. Made me wanna throw up at one point. So today was challenging, Im not going to lie. But I managed. I also signed up for doctors appointment and blood test to figure out slowly whats goin on with me.
On a different topic, my parents had a looong talk with me cuz they caught me crying during work. I got the usual "stop crying, it will get better" thank you xd. Really helpful, parents. But whatever. I will manage as usual. Also going back to the topic of those cringe IG stories. Some of my old old old friends texted me and turns out they got it the same as me or worse. But I have known them for years now so it felt so good to hear from them again. We are very supportive of each other now. Im glad I could get back in contact with them. And there is one men in that group of people. He is one wonderful friend. He lives like 350km away tho. And its not Robin.
However!!! He will be either moving to Poznań or Katowice. If its Katowice then Im going to have a great friend here!!! What else is there... I started actually texting people back on tinder and there were some okay people but nothing crazy, only one person sticked around so thats progress!!!
So overall Im slowly working on myself as much as I can. Slowly but surely.
Not much to say I gotta admit
Goblin, reporting. Have a nice night! Over and out.